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We'd received a few
critical E-mails, but none of them well written enough to
read on the air, so we thought we'd write our own. And who
better to host this segment than the inimitable Kris
Holcomb?
FIRE
BACK: WHERE THE VIEWERS RESPOND
by Myles Nye
#1
Dear the Mike and Ben Show,
Your show sucks! Everything about it sucks! The jokes suck.
The acting really sucks. Mike sucks, and Ben sucks too. Your
theme song sucks, and I think what else sucks is the camera
work. Who writes your show? They suck! What kind of name is
"The Mike and Ben Show" anyway? What a sucky name!
Everything sucks! Suck suck sucky suck sucks! S-U-C-K
suck!
Yours,
Roger Valentine
PS You
suck!
#2
Mike and Ben,
I am a
constipated Afrian American panda confined to a wheelchair
thanks to a renegade faux psychiatrist armed with a baseball
bat. Why do you persist in mocking me? I have feelings too.
Iím going to write an angry letter. Besides this one,
I mean.
Regards,
Heather Poonanny
#3
Mike and Ben,
I hate your
show! I am driven solely by my hate for your show. Sometimes
me hating your show is the only thing that gets me out of
bed in the morning. I hereby pledge to fight ceaselessly to
get your show off the airwaves even if it costs me my life.
So watch out. I just so happen to be a dangerous badass whom
you donít want to corss.
Ominously,
The Icy Black Fist
AKA Heath Monroe
PS Thanks
for giving me something to live for!
#4
Dear Ben and Mike,
I have
never seen your show, but I bet if I did I would kill
you.
Best,
Saddam Hussein
PS Praise Allah!
#5
Dear Ben,
I love
you.
-Satan.
#6
Dear Mike,
I hate
you.
-Ben.
#7
Wassssss up suckas! Your show is for shit. Iíve
been retarded bitches that are more interesting than your
bunk ass show. Deeeeeeeezzzzzz nuts fellas!
Respectfully,
Yo momma!
#8
Dear Ben,
Please come
home. That Mike is nothing but a bad influence on
you.
Love and cuddles,
Mom and Dad
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