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RIP Mike and Ben
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[Myles's
comments are in big, blue, Italicized brackets, just like
these.]
Originally aired Monday,
May 1st.
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Hosting
sequence #1:
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Joe
introduces the theme of the week and reveals
that Mike and Ben have their own frat: Mu Nu
Beta. Through his Super-Duper Secret Spy
Glassesô, we see Mike invite Joe to the
evening's meeting and perform the secret
handshake.
Featuring:
Joe
Walcek
Next
Clip >
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[These
hosting shots were precisely the kick in the pants that we
all needed. I know I for one was at a loss for what to do
with Mike and Ben, and Hart showed us the
way.]
Opening
credits
[Okay,
it occurs to me that all my comments so far have just been
compliments about the other writers and actors and all and I
haven't said anything nasty yet. So I'd just like to say
that everyone else who works for the show and, indeed, in
the world, is a talentless know-nothing coasting on a shred
of gumption that could fit in a foreskin.]
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The
Frat Pack:
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Commercial
for audio cassettes in the style of nature
sounds, only with sounds of a fraternity
party.
Featuring:
Myles
Nye
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[Mike's
final line of dialogue descends into "giggy giggy" noises.
Not sure why. That's Mike's apartment that I'm sitting in,
with my own New Yorker, immediately after filming the
footage for "Doggies and Kitties in Space." If you listen
really carefully to the sounds of the frat once you see the
inside of the house, you can pick out Tim saying "Not as
much as you" and, right before the sound cuts out, Thor
going "Woo hoo." We had a long discussion over what "silly
music" should play when I turn the tape over. We considered
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" or "My Heart Will Go On" but
ultimately decided that there just wasn't enough time for
any song to be immediately recognized, so we just went with
klezmer and I cannot believe I have written so much over a
piece so short.]
[Bar
none, this is the best performance that Ben has ever turned
in. And I love that all Mike says is "Yeah" and
"Toilet."]
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Sista
Sista:
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Sean Hart
visits sorority houses, asking the sisters
questions such as "Which is the bigger number: 1
or 2?", "Was two nukes enough?', and "Have you
ever come in through the back door?"
Featuring:
Sean
Hart
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[I
would kill to know what some of this stuff was in context
in, specifically "Can you make me some brownies, I'd really
like some."]
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Heckman
Gets Creepy
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The
weekly request for Michelle Kwan to go on a date
with Sean features scary slow-motion close-ups,
music from "The Godfather," and a plea for
Michelle to confirm Sean's
heterosexuality.
Featuring:
Sean
Heckman
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Thursday
Night: Fraternity Fun!
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A montage
sequence of malicious mischief perpetrated on a
typical Thus. night. Among the pieces:
*
bringing a baby to a frat party and demanding to
see the father, whom she claims is inside;
singing Christmas carols to frat brothers, one
of whom joins in; an interview with a highly
intoxicated Damon Hill, Greek Council
President.
Featuring:
*
*,
Sean
Hart,
Thor
Erickson,
Tim
Heiderich,
Myles
Nye,
Sean
Heckman,
Rizwan
Kassim
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2000
MB Award Winner:
Best
Performance
* * (with
Junior)
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[You
can see me standing on the steps wearing a jacket with my
back to the camera, trying to stir up some trouble. I
mention this not to draw attention to myself but because
I'll never forget * screaming "Call the cops! Call the
mother fucking cops!" Those guys on the lawn moving their
heads back and forth lay there for close to 20 minutes.
Those sorority girls looked cold so I gave them some nice
jelly beans.]
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A
Taste of Their Own Medicine
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Two boys
get their revenge against fraternity bullies
through a series of less-than-devastating
pranks.
Featuring:
Joe
Walcek,
George
Velasco
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[Price
very kindly took over directing this piece for me because
the morning I was supposed to do it I spent vomiting into a
wastebasket.]
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Roofies
Warning
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Public
service announcement about Rohifnal ("Roofies"),
a dangerous date rape drug. Filmed in the style
of a re-enactment of a possible date rape
scenario.
Featuring: Judy
Ashouri,
Nelson
Hung
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[Nelson
signed on to be a camera guy. Little did he know he'd be
roped into acting.]
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How
Not To "Dump" People
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Restless
beaux sever the ties with the women (and men)
who just aren't satisfying them any more.
Featuring:
Ben
Larson,
Joshua
Soskin,
Jason
Eason
(cameo)
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2000
MB Award Winner:
Best
Ben Quote:
"Here's
a quarter. Call me when you get some
boobs."
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[What's
odd is the first time I saw this I didn't laugh, but the
second time I thought it was really funny. I want to know
who the blond girl is who said "You're going to have to get
me really, really drunk." I think we could use
her.]
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Hosting
sequence #4:
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Never
before seen footage of the strange initiation
ritual of Mu Nu Beta (a parody of Stanley
Kubrick's critical and popular juggernaut "Eyes
Wide Shut"), as captured by Joe.
Featuring:
Joe
Walcek,
Lawrence
Givens,
Eric
Fagundes
<
Previous Clip
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Closing
credits:
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Musical
number: "We're Not Gay," as sung by the
extremely straight boys of Mu Nu Beta, plus
outtake of final hosting sequence.
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Say, I'd like to
read
the E-mails
that the MB cast and crew was circulating at the time this
episode was being made.
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