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"What's News" #3
Asian Episode
Kids Episode
Clearinghouse
of Comedy
Documentary / Best Of
Silent Episode
Musical
Farewell Extravaganza
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What's
News Opening credits
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Jennifer
derails the newscast from the start with talk
of her personal life, while Richard
introduces a story about a plucky Black man
who, uncharacteristically, steals something
of little or no value: womens'
"virtue".
Next
Clip >
Featuring:
Tim
Heiderich,
Leah
Sprecher
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The
Groper:
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UCLA
women once again have an excuse to be afraid
to go out at night. Richard reports on "The
Groper", who again
attacked student Jessica Moss, only rather
than suck out her tits, this time he made off
with her vagina. Though this hasn't affected
her sexual life, now she must pee sitting
down.
Featuring:
Tim
Heiderich,
Jessica
Moss,
Lawrence
Givens,
Viera
Juarez
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Hosting:
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Richard
outlines "Take Back Every Other Night" where
blacks and women are allowed to go out on
alternating evenings, so as to prevent
conflicts between the two groups. Jennifer
introduces a story on a woman in Golden Gate
Park who refused to get down from a tree,
before handing it back to Richard.
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Previous Clip
Next
Clip >
Featuring:
Tim
Heiderich,
Leah
Sprecher
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Manora's
Celebrity Gossip:
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Manora
dishes out the inside scoop on Bandy's night
vision, J. Lo's big-ass ass, Meg Ryan's death
from AIDS and, of course, Whitney Houston's
crack habit and how it's spread to Michael J.
Fox.
Featuring: Jason
Eason
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Anger
Management:
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Jennifer
Tiffany introduces a segment where
psychologists Moss and Nobel coach people on
Bruin Walk on how to get in touch with their
inner rage. Jennifer goes off on some bizarre
tangent about detecting anger in circus
ponies and Dr. Nobel is accosted by two thugs
who use their inner rage to coax Dr. Nobel's
wallet from him.
Richard's summation, "It didn't make a whole
hell of a lot of sense."
Featuring: Myles
Nye,
Sean
Hart,
Leah
Sprecher
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Whats
Wrongs:
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As a
public service, KWUT Station Manager Jonathan
P. What, Jr. helps 'stick it to the man' by
investigating viewer complaints about local
businesses, but meets with little
success.
Featuring: Mike
Pesses
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Accu-Weather
Lab Storm Report 2000 with Sad Hobo
Clown:
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75-degrees
and sunny. Perfect weather for anyone passed
out on a tennis court.
Featuring: Adam
Epstein
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Flaming
Fernando's Fashion Corner:
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Fashion
Correspondent Flaming
Fernando
visits the streets of San Francisco to tell
us what's flaming-hot and what's
straight-laced and dull as well as what's out
and what should stay in the closet.
Featuring: Sam
Paz,
TV's 'Blossom'
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SP
#2 - No Pooping on Campus:
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Reporter
Claire is at the local University of
California to talk to people about the new
law SP #2, which bars pooping in public on UC
campuses. In a point/counterpoint,
Media
Baron John Ramsey
faces off against retard Timothy
Ward O'Connor
on SP #2. Ramsey says pooping on campus is
bad for hygene, while Timothy refutes this
with, "Hi, Gene..."
Featuring: Claire
Morales,
Ben
Larson,
Greg
Snyder
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Pass that
thing and go back
to the top
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